here i am!

it took 25 years but i think i am really starting to develop a more creative side to myself. it's a very fulfilling feeling and it's making me feel more like a full person. i had been feeling so scattered and disconnected over the summer. it sounds cliche' but i felt myself slipping into a kind of downward spiral. instead of being thankful and happy with where i am in my life i was second-guessing everything. i was feeling without purpose. it sounds silly but when i started knitting it really gave me something to focus on and throw my energy at.

lately it seems without really trying i have been slowly chiseling away all the crap to define who i am and who i want to be. it's odd tho - i feel like i've been spending my whole life without really knowing.

i am a homebody. i am creative. i like to snuggle with my kitties and watch old episodes of the x-files. i like to play with my friends on the internet. i am humble. i love my friends like they are my family. i like cooking but only when it's for more than just bryan and myself. someday, i want to teach 4th grade. i love to knit. i am laid back. i am good at computer stuff. i'm a decent scrap-booker. i love the gap. i want to be a young parent but am not ready to have kids yet. i am learning to be complete. i want to learn the guitar and speak spanish. i don't like to set deadlines on goals for myself. i have learned i am not a dog-owner. i am kind. i enjoy being lazy. i am easily irritated. i value my alone time. i've found myself saying "i could just make it" while looking at things i want to buy. i love to sleep. i don't read as much as i'd like to.

so far i think i've got a pretty good list going. it makes me smile to think there will always been more to add as my sense of self grows.