I have been feeling guilty the last few days. Guilty for feeling bad, I guess. A good friend of mine lost someone last week, which I just found out about on Saturday. The images keep creeping into my head and I haven't been able to sleep. That's where the guilt comes in. Why am I losing sleep? I lost no one. I hurt for her though. It is unimaginable what she is going through right now.
As I laid in bed last night listening to the silence, the slow snore of the man next to me, and the occasional batting of a toy mouse in the hallway, a small part of me wanted to pray for her.
I am a sensible person. I do not believe that you can make things happen by praying. I do not believe that by praying you can make things not happen. I do not believe that my praying for her would give her any comfort. The comfort given by reciting the Our Father would purely be for my benefit. It's a learned behavior. A comfort tool. A child sucking their thumb.
I thought of what my dad would say. "Well, it can't hurt." And I guess he's right. Even if I'm against organized religion, against the belief that there's some man in the sky who has dominion over us, decides what happens to us by how much prayer we give - what is the harm in reciting a small prayer if it gives me comfort?
I didn't pray last night. I didn't say the Our Father or the Hail Mary. I let my conflicted mind wander all over the place. I thought about meditation. I thought about my friend. I thought about how short life is. I thought about war. I thought about the friends I used to have that are no longer here. I thought about life before moving here. About Chili's. About Ernie. About Scott. About Jaci planning her wedding. Laughing, playing, joking around. Trading shifts, comping food, Sunday parties.
I guess it's one of the downfalls of growing up. I look at my parents, people that are older than me and see that they've lost people too. Even if they're not my closest friends, in my inner circle; realizing a person you used to see on a daily basis is no longer on the planet, no longer goofing around, no longer comping food or telling jokes, no longer kissing their wife, their son... it makes you really think hard about your own mortality. How fragile life really is. How quickly things change.
How life forges ahead with or without you.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
sunday, rainy sunday
Just another typical rainy weekend in Madison. I spent most of my time finishing up The Host by Stephenie Meyer. Like usual, this new book is one of my favorites. Next up, Paper Towns by John Green.
It's Sunday now and I'm currently engrossed in a Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon. I'm a little bothered at the Ray Lamontagne song playing in the intro that doesn't seem to fit the current murder taking place.
My battery life has reached 8% and is quickly dwindling so... I guess that's it!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
laura-ology
Jenny informally tagged me in this survey and since the days of Myspace are long over for me I thought it would be a fun distraction. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged too!
Foodology
What is your salad dressing of choice?
I tend to like Caesar salads or something with a light dressing like a vinaigrette.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
It changes often b/c when I like a restaurant I tend to eat there until I get sick of it and move onto the next place. right now I'm really digging Buffalo Wild Wings and HuHot.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Pizza.
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Just cheese or pepperoni, thanks!
What do you like to put on your toast?
Peanut butter and sugar or just butter and grape jelly.
Technology
How many televisions are in your house?
2 functioning TVs and one that sits alone in the cold basement unplugged.
What color cell phone do you have?
Black with a blue keyboard.
Do you have an Ipod?
Speak of the devil, I just got a new iPod touch since mine was stolen.
Biology
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right handed
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Not that I’m aware of...
What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My burrito at lunch. It was huge!
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not that I remember!
Bullcrapology
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No way.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I've always wanted to change my name. in 3rd grade it was Mitzy, and in 7th it was Jessa - but now I am happy to announce that I am perfectly content with the name Laura.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
As long as you don't dump anything gross into the hot sauce like gravy, mayonnaise, or pickle juice like we used to do at Denny’s circa freshmen year... for a thousand bucks? Sure!
Dumbology
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
I do own quite a few but I have a hard time wearing them now. My ankle isn't too happy with me when I break out the flimsy little buggers.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
I called them when our neighbors car was shot out and then B called them when my car was broken into. I swear I don't really live in the ghetto.
Last person you talked to?
The friendly Conway delivery man who has a palette he's dropping off at our warehouse. we exchanged pleasantries and then I continued tap-tap-tapping on my keyboard.
Last person you hugged?
B. Palmer last night. :)
Favoritology
Season?
I like the transitional seasons, spring and fall.
Holiday?
Thanksgiving & July 4th.
Day of the week?
FRIDAYS.
Month?
October is usually my favorite month. I love all the Halloween/Fall type stuff that starts to pop up around town that time of year.
Currentology
Missing someone?
Sure thing. I miss my friends that are spaced out around the country.
Mood?
Fidgety.
What are you listening to?
The silence of the front desk area. When I return to my desk I will be rocking out to the Lily Allen station on Pandora, though!
Watching?
I type for a few minutes and then look out the window and daydream about what it would be like to be sitting outside, reading a book, drinking a glass of wine.
Worrying about?
Nothing in particular, really.
Randomology
First place you went this morning?
Outside of my house? To work.
What's the last movie you saw?
I sobbed my way through Marley & Me the other night.
Do you smile often?
I sure try to!
Sleeping alone tonight?
I will be sleeping with the same boy I sleep with every night along with all three of our cats, all on my side of the bed.
Otherology
Do you always answer your phone?
Hardly ever depending on who's calling. I always answer texts though.
Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Definitely somebody from Twitter. Either that or it's something witty from BG.
If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I’m good with what I was given.
If you could change any drink flavor at sonic what would it be?
Apparently a Sonic just opened up the street from where I work... I probably still won't go there so... IDK.
Do you own a digital camera?
Yes indeed I do.
have you ever owned a fish?
I owned a few goldfish back in the day and a beta or two along the way. I’m not a very good fishy mom, however and I’m pretty sure if I had one now my kitties would call it lunch.
Favorite Christmas song(s)
Meh, I’m not a big Christmas music fan.
What's on your wish list for your birthday?
It's too early to really start thinking about a birthday wish list...
Can you do pushups?
Maybe a few, but probably only the girl kind.
Can you do a chin up?
Heck no.
Does the future make you nervous or excited?
A little of both.
Do you have any saved texts?
Only the ones that stay in my inbox until it's full and I delete them all.
Ever been in a car wreck?
Nope, knock on wood.
Do you have an accent?
I’m starting to pick up a Wisconsin accent. I’ve been making the longer 'o' sounds I’ve noticed.
What is the last song to make you cry?
there's a Michael Buble song that always makes me cry called "Home."
Plans tonight?
Spending a little time outdoors enjoying the warm weather and then inside maybe watching some TV, snuggling' with the kitties.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Maybe not rock bottom, thankfully.
Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Meat sauce, a new dish scrubber, and a cute top from Target. Wheee!
Have you ever been given roses?
Yep, a few times.
Current worry?
Eh, nothing too major.
Current hate right now?
I wouldn't say hate but I’m a little on edge with some people.
Met someone who changed your life?
I think everyone changes your life even if it's only in a little way.
How will you spend summer?
Sitting in the shade w/ a good book.
What song represents you?
Hmm... I can't think of one right off the top of my head.
Name three people who might complete this.
Jenny already did, so... I bet it shows up on Holly’s blog one of these days.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Absolutely, but not to change anything. Just to re-live.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yeah.
Do you have any piercings/tattoos?
Just the regular ear piercings and a belly button ring.
Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
That's the plan.
Does anyone love you?
Thankfully, yes!
Would you be a pirate?
From what I can guess, it doesn't look like pirates are given ample opportunities to shower. And, being one that likes to shower myself, this might be the one hindrance that keeps me from a life of piracy.
What songs do you sing in the shower?
Lately it's been a lot of Lily Allen.
Ever had someone sing to you?
Unfortunately.
When did you last cry?
A few weeks ago.
Do you like to cuddle?
Not usually.
Have you held hands with anyone today?
Not today, nope.
Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Aiko da kitty.
What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
anything that had cute boys in it. Hanson fo sho! Or wait, I guess Hanson was more in 7th and 8th grade. I think the first CD I bought in 6th grade was Ace of Base.
Do you believe in staying close with your ex's/prospects?
the grammar here is confusing me. my ex's prospects or my exes and my prospects?
(I couldn't think of a better answer than Jenny’s so I left it :)
Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
A mixture of both with more weighing in around the old category.
Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No. Blech.
What is something your friends make fun of you for?
hmm, Erin likes to point out my short-comings when I typo. And Jess and Laura like to call me Short-Pants Palmer and question my taste in fake work boyfriends. Other than that though, nothing... I hope. :)
Foodology
What is your salad dressing of choice?
I tend to like Caesar salads or something with a light dressing like a vinaigrette.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
It changes often b/c when I like a restaurant I tend to eat there until I get sick of it and move onto the next place. right now I'm really digging Buffalo Wild Wings and HuHot.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Pizza.
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Just cheese or pepperoni, thanks!
What do you like to put on your toast?
Peanut butter and sugar or just butter and grape jelly.
Technology
How many televisions are in your house?
2 functioning TVs and one that sits alone in the cold basement unplugged.
What color cell phone do you have?
Black with a blue keyboard.
Do you have an Ipod?
Speak of the devil, I just got a new iPod touch since mine was stolen.
Biology
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right handed
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Not that I’m aware of...
What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My burrito at lunch. It was huge!
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not that I remember!
Bullcrapology
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No way.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I've always wanted to change my name. in 3rd grade it was Mitzy, and in 7th it was Jessa - but now I am happy to announce that I am perfectly content with the name Laura.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
As long as you don't dump anything gross into the hot sauce like gravy, mayonnaise, or pickle juice like we used to do at Denny’s circa freshmen year... for a thousand bucks? Sure!
Dumbology
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
I do own quite a few but I have a hard time wearing them now. My ankle isn't too happy with me when I break out the flimsy little buggers.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
I called them when our neighbors car was shot out and then B called them when my car was broken into. I swear I don't really live in the ghetto.
Last person you talked to?
The friendly Conway delivery man who has a palette he's dropping off at our warehouse. we exchanged pleasantries and then I continued tap-tap-tapping on my keyboard.
Last person you hugged?
B. Palmer last night. :)
Favoritology
Season?
I like the transitional seasons, spring and fall.
Holiday?
Thanksgiving & July 4th.
Day of the week?
FRIDAYS.
Month?
October is usually my favorite month. I love all the Halloween/Fall type stuff that starts to pop up around town that time of year.
Currentology
Missing someone?
Sure thing. I miss my friends that are spaced out around the country.
Mood?
Fidgety.
What are you listening to?
The silence of the front desk area. When I return to my desk I will be rocking out to the Lily Allen station on Pandora, though!
Watching?
I type for a few minutes and then look out the window and daydream about what it would be like to be sitting outside, reading a book, drinking a glass of wine.
Worrying about?
Nothing in particular, really.
Randomology
First place you went this morning?
Outside of my house? To work.
What's the last movie you saw?
I sobbed my way through Marley & Me the other night.
Do you smile often?
I sure try to!
Sleeping alone tonight?
I will be sleeping with the same boy I sleep with every night along with all three of our cats, all on my side of the bed.
Otherology
Do you always answer your phone?
Hardly ever depending on who's calling. I always answer texts though.
Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Definitely somebody from Twitter. Either that or it's something witty from BG.
If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I’m good with what I was given.
If you could change any drink flavor at sonic what would it be?
Apparently a Sonic just opened up the street from where I work... I probably still won't go there so... IDK.
Do you own a digital camera?
Yes indeed I do.
have you ever owned a fish?
I owned a few goldfish back in the day and a beta or two along the way. I’m not a very good fishy mom, however and I’m pretty sure if I had one now my kitties would call it lunch.
Favorite Christmas song(s)
Meh, I’m not a big Christmas music fan.
What's on your wish list for your birthday?
It's too early to really start thinking about a birthday wish list...
Can you do pushups?
Maybe a few, but probably only the girl kind.
Can you do a chin up?
Heck no.
Does the future make you nervous or excited?
A little of both.
Do you have any saved texts?
Only the ones that stay in my inbox until it's full and I delete them all.
Ever been in a car wreck?
Nope, knock on wood.
Do you have an accent?
I’m starting to pick up a Wisconsin accent. I’ve been making the longer 'o' sounds I’ve noticed.
What is the last song to make you cry?
there's a Michael Buble song that always makes me cry called "Home."
Plans tonight?
Spending a little time outdoors enjoying the warm weather and then inside maybe watching some TV, snuggling' with the kitties.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Maybe not rock bottom, thankfully.
Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Meat sauce, a new dish scrubber, and a cute top from Target. Wheee!
Have you ever been given roses?
Yep, a few times.
Current worry?
Eh, nothing too major.
Current hate right now?
I wouldn't say hate but I’m a little on edge with some people.
Met someone who changed your life?
I think everyone changes your life even if it's only in a little way.
How will you spend summer?
Sitting in the shade w/ a good book.
What song represents you?
Hmm... I can't think of one right off the top of my head.
Name three people who might complete this.
Jenny already did, so... I bet it shows up on Holly’s blog one of these days.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Absolutely, but not to change anything. Just to re-live.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yeah.
Do you have any piercings/tattoos?
Just the regular ear piercings and a belly button ring.
Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
That's the plan.
Does anyone love you?
Thankfully, yes!
Would you be a pirate?
From what I can guess, it doesn't look like pirates are given ample opportunities to shower. And, being one that likes to shower myself, this might be the one hindrance that keeps me from a life of piracy.
What songs do you sing in the shower?
Lately it's been a lot of Lily Allen.
Ever had someone sing to you?
Unfortunately.
When did you last cry?
A few weeks ago.
Do you like to cuddle?
Not usually.
Have you held hands with anyone today?
Not today, nope.
Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Aiko da kitty.
What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
anything that had cute boys in it. Hanson fo sho! Or wait, I guess Hanson was more in 7th and 8th grade. I think the first CD I bought in 6th grade was Ace of Base.
Do you believe in staying close with your ex's/prospects?
the grammar here is confusing me. my ex's prospects or my exes and my prospects?
(I couldn't think of a better answer than Jenny’s so I left it :)
Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
A mixture of both with more weighing in around the old category.
Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No. Blech.
What is something your friends make fun of you for?
hmm, Erin likes to point out my short-comings when I typo. And Jess and Laura like to call me Short-Pants Palmer and question my taste in fake work boyfriends. Other than that though, nothing... I hope. :)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
happy earth day!
In honor of Earth Day I let Aiko do a little more outdoor exploring than usual. He had fun rolling around on the concrete and eating the grass. He even got a little muddy trudging through the freshly laid potting soil.
It was a beautiful day - I couldn't have asked for better weather. We put the screen door on so the cats can lay inside and catch the breeze on nice days. I even helped a little spider find his way back outdoors instead of steppin' on him like I was at first inclined to do.
Ahh, Happy Earth Day!
The other two kitties had to watch from inside. Kiley isn't allowed outside as she's a dasher and loves to run when I try to catch her. I've had visions of her running into the street and meeting her untimely demise. Therefore, she will forever be an indoor kitty because her mother is kind of mental. I'm not sure if Tristan is to be trusted outdoors yet. He's a little too squirmy for me to feel comfortable trying it. Maybe someday Tristan, maybe some day.
It was a beautiful day - I couldn't have asked for better weather. We put the screen door on so the cats can lay inside and catch the breeze on nice days. I even helped a little spider find his way back outdoors instead of steppin' on him like I was at first inclined to do.
Ahh, Happy Earth Day!
The other two kitties had to watch from inside. Kiley isn't allowed outside as she's a dasher and loves to run when I try to catch her. I've had visions of her running into the street and meeting her untimely demise. Therefore, she will forever be an indoor kitty because her mother is kind of mental. I'm not sure if Tristan is to be trusted outdoors yet. He's a little too squirmy for me to feel comfortable trying it. Maybe someday Tristan, maybe some day.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
i like to touch
Last Thursday night my car was broken into. Well, not so much broken into as gotten into, somehow. Just like any other Friday morning I woke up, got ready for work and groggily made my way out to my car. Upon entering it, things felt a little amiss. My glove box was hanging down. My center console was open. My ipod was gone. My first thought was that maybe Bryan had been looking for something. There was something about everything being left open that didn't feel right though. I checked the window. Nope, not broken. Was anything else missing? My North Face jacket was still laying in the backseat. My CD's were still sitting in the center console. Spice Girls, check. Backstreet Boys, check. Bridget's Justice, check.
Don't judge me.
It wasn't until I looked down and saw my satellite radio missing from where it was bolted in that I realized my car had definitely been broken into. I went inside to a still-asleep Bryan and said, "Um," and paused for dramatic effect. "Did you take my ipod and my satellite radio out of my car?"
His answer was a quick "No," and he jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. "What all is missing?"
He might not have been so easy to jump to my break-in theory if it hadn't been for the recent vandalism of car windows in our neighborhood. Just a week before our neighbor had the windows of his Suburban shot out by a pellet gun, and a neighbor up the street had the same thing happen.
Luckily for me no windows were broken in the theft of my lovely ipod, and I hope whoever took it 1) enjoys Lily Allen and 2) has a power cord as they left mine behind and the ipod was nearly dead.
I guess who ever took it also deserves a thank you for leaving undisturbed my North Face jacket which was worth more than either thing they took, and for also not disturbing my, let's say, colorful collection of CD's from the center console.
And on a happy note, I welcomed a new addition to the Palmer Family technologies this morning with the arrival of my new ipod touch. Hooray for constant technological stimulation!
Don't judge me.
It wasn't until I looked down and saw my satellite radio missing from where it was bolted in that I realized my car had definitely been broken into. I went inside to a still-asleep Bryan and said, "Um," and paused for dramatic effect. "Did you take my ipod and my satellite radio out of my car?"
His answer was a quick "No," and he jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. "What all is missing?"
He might not have been so easy to jump to my break-in theory if it hadn't been for the recent vandalism of car windows in our neighborhood. Just a week before our neighbor had the windows of his Suburban shot out by a pellet gun, and a neighbor up the street had the same thing happen.
Luckily for me no windows were broken in the theft of my lovely ipod, and I hope whoever took it 1) enjoys Lily Allen and 2) has a power cord as they left mine behind and the ipod was nearly dead.
I guess who ever took it also deserves a thank you for leaving undisturbed my North Face jacket which was worth more than either thing they took, and for also not disturbing my, let's say, colorful collection of CD's from the center console.
And on a happy note, I welcomed a new addition to the Palmer Family technologies this morning with the arrival of my new ipod touch. Hooray for constant technological stimulation!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
springy pictures
This weekend I worked a bit on digging up some of the dirt on the side of the house so it's ready for our flowers! I got tired of digging and decided to take a few pictures...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
ducks!
M R ducks. M R not. M R 2. C D E D B D wings?
I came home the other day to find two little BFF duckies asleep in our backyard. Spring is really here! YAY!
Monday, April 13, 2009
success!
Well, I was able to check a few things off my weekend agenda list.
I found my SD card. In three pieces. Downstairs next to the litter boxes. One guess who's responsible for that. Luckily, B was able to fix it. I'm not sure how I feel using it as I'm unsure if it was ever IN one of the litter boxes.
I watched the movie Changeling. It was surprisingly really good. I am not usually an Angelina Jolie fan but I must say this was one of her best ones. It really made my heart hurt. It got too late to watch The Lucky Ones. I returned it to the video store a day late and unwatched. Kind of a waste, but oh well.
I accomplished step 1 of the planting process. I purchased 3 hydrangea plants, 18 Gladiolus bulbs, and 3 Dahlia bulbs. B was too entrenched in the building of the retaining wall that he never had time to put in the edging where I wanted to plant. I guess planting will have to be next weekends project.
I never made it to the library. That was supposed to be on the agenda for Saturday but we got a little detained at Menards after Bryan overloaded the trailer. We made it up the street from the store with our load that took us (or B, rather) 2 hours to stack like a Tetris game and noticed the tires on the trailer were about to go. We had to pull into a parking lot, B had to walk back to Menards and rent a truck, come back, unload half the materials into the truck, and then I got to drive the truck home while Bryan drove his Jeep and the trailer. Then, so we didn't get charged for another hour (god forbid) B had to race to get everything unloaded from the truck so we could return it on time. How many times did I say the word "truck" in this paragraph? By the time we made it home, the library was closed. Maybe I'll head there on my lunch break one day this week...
I got lots of sleeping in done. I even took a 2 hour nap while Bryan worked on the retaining wall outside on Sunday. Isn't that what Easter is all about? Bunnies, candy, and napping? I'm pretty sure Bryan was unaware of my napping as he worked outside. Mum is the word.
All in all it was a pretty relaxing weekend. We got a lot done on the house. Or, Bryan got a lot done on the house, rather. I got a few more chapters of The Host read and a good nap in.
I pretty much call this weekend a success.
I found my SD card. In three pieces. Downstairs next to the litter boxes. One guess who's responsible for that. Luckily, B was able to fix it. I'm not sure how I feel using it as I'm unsure if it was ever IN one of the litter boxes.
I watched the movie Changeling. It was surprisingly really good. I am not usually an Angelina Jolie fan but I must say this was one of her best ones. It really made my heart hurt. It got too late to watch The Lucky Ones. I returned it to the video store a day late and unwatched. Kind of a waste, but oh well.
I accomplished step 1 of the planting process. I purchased 3 hydrangea plants, 18 Gladiolus bulbs, and 3 Dahlia bulbs. B was too entrenched in the building of the retaining wall that he never had time to put in the edging where I wanted to plant. I guess planting will have to be next weekends project.
I never made it to the library. That was supposed to be on the agenda for Saturday but we got a little detained at Menards after Bryan overloaded the trailer. We made it up the street from the store with our load that took us (or B, rather) 2 hours to stack like a Tetris game and noticed the tires on the trailer were about to go. We had to pull into a parking lot, B had to walk back to Menards and rent a truck, come back, unload half the materials into the truck, and then I got to drive the truck home while Bryan drove his Jeep and the trailer. Then, so we didn't get charged for another hour (god forbid) B had to race to get everything unloaded from the truck so we could return it on time. How many times did I say the word "truck" in this paragraph? By the time we made it home, the library was closed. Maybe I'll head there on my lunch break one day this week...
I got lots of sleeping in done. I even took a 2 hour nap while Bryan worked on the retaining wall outside on Sunday. Isn't that what Easter is all about? Bunnies, candy, and napping? I'm pretty sure Bryan was unaware of my napping as he worked outside. Mum is the word.
All in all it was a pretty relaxing weekend. We got a lot done on the house. Or, Bryan got a lot done on the house, rather. I got a few more chapters of The Host read and a good nap in.
I pretty much call this weekend a success.
Friday, April 10, 2009
my weekend agenda
Hooray it's Friday! Another boring work day so I made a list of all the fun things I have to look forward to this weekend:
Find my SD card reader. I don't want to name names (Tristan) but somebody keeps knocking stuff off various tables in our house and bats it around until it is under something where little paws can't reach. I have a few pictures I want to upload from babysitting last night and it's going to be hard to do so until I find my handy little dealy. Silly kitties.
Get a library card. I tried to do this last weekend but was stupid enough to mention finding the library when B was with me. He wasn't too into doing a detailed search as I would've done. This time, I travel alone and I *will* find it.
Read more of The Host. What can I say? I'm a slow reader. The book has been getting better and better the further I get. I hope to at least make it half way through before the weekend is over.
Plant some stuff. The weather is supposed to be beautiful so I think this weekend will be a good time to plant our hydrangeas along the side of the house. Green thumb, what what!
Sleep in. Okay, this one is kind of obvious.
Watch my rented movies. They're due back tonight so I'm not quite sure I'll get through both of them. I have The Lucky Ones and Changeling. I'm kind of eh when it comes to Angelina Jolie so I'll be watching The Lucky Ones first. W00T!
Go for a walk. I'm going to take advantage of the aforementioned beautiful weather and enjoy some of the outdoor scenery. Keep your eyes open for more springtime pictures! If I find my SD card reader, that is.
Find my SD card reader. I don't want to name names (Tristan) but somebody keeps knocking stuff off various tables in our house and bats it around until it is under something where little paws can't reach. I have a few pictures I want to upload from babysitting last night and it's going to be hard to do so until I find my handy little dealy. Silly kitties.
Get a library card. I tried to do this last weekend but was stupid enough to mention finding the library when B was with me. He wasn't too into doing a detailed search as I would've done. This time, I travel alone and I *will* find it.
Read more of The Host. What can I say? I'm a slow reader. The book has been getting better and better the further I get. I hope to at least make it half way through before the weekend is over.
Plant some stuff. The weather is supposed to be beautiful so I think this weekend will be a good time to plant our hydrangeas along the side of the house. Green thumb, what what!
Sleep in. Okay, this one is kind of obvious.
Watch my rented movies. They're due back tonight so I'm not quite sure I'll get through both of them. I have The Lucky Ones and Changeling. I'm kind of eh when it comes to Angelina Jolie so I'll be watching The Lucky Ones first. W00T!
Go for a walk. I'm going to take advantage of the aforementioned beautiful weather and enjoy some of the outdoor scenery. Keep your eyes open for more springtime pictures! If I find my SD card reader, that is.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
anti-work mosaic
Here we go again. I am feeling completely unmotivated today at work. I don't have a ton of work to get through but I do have stuff I could be doing. I just can't bring myself to do it. So, instead of working I'm going to make a pretty mosaic of randomly cool pictures found on Flickr:
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
bitch, bitch, bitch
I'm having a crabby day today. The only thing I can think about, thanks to EB, is how badly I want a chocolate cake-donut with sprinkles. It's a little after 10am now and I'm trying hard to hold out for lunch time. I might indulge myself with a cookie from Subway. Who am I kidding with this word "might?" I'm going to get two.
To make things worse, I have two zits in the most inconvenient places. One is right above my eye. It's right on bone and I can't get a good grip to pop it. The other one is on the side of my nose and I'm having the same "grip" problem. The first one is giving me such a migraine. I just want to punch something. I want to go back to bed and call it a day.
This foul mood I'm in is making my work ethic equal to that of a fat kid who doesn't want to get off the couch. I just want to lay around and be lazy and eat chips. Don't judge me. Or do, ya know, whatever.
Okay, ya know what? I've been trying not to turn this into a ranting post but I'm not gonna shove my annoyances away. I'm going to bitch for a minute. If you don't want to read bitching, I suggest you scroll down to where I come back to reality. :)
You know what really grinds my gears? (heh, heh) People who talk just for the sake of hearing themselves talk. I am so tired of listening to people just randomly talk about random crap which I do not care about in the least. It just goes on and on and on and on for mind-numbing minutes and I feel like my eyes are going to explode. Also, quit interrupting me when I interject. The next time I get interrupted while I'm talking I'm just going to talk louder.
Another thing - Facebook is NOT the place for religion to be shoved in my face. I understand you love jesus. I get it. I really do. But does each and every one of your status updates have to remind me? If you have to constantly tell someone how awesome something is, chances are it's not really that awesome.
Okay I think I'm done. For now. I reserve the right to add to this post later. Hopefully the aforementioned cookies from Subway will turn my frown upside down. But it's not lunch time yet, and until then I think I need to go have a visit with the office candy jar.
Ciao.
To make things worse, I have two zits in the most inconvenient places. One is right above my eye. It's right on bone and I can't get a good grip to pop it. The other one is on the side of my nose and I'm having the same "grip" problem. The first one is giving me such a migraine. I just want to punch something. I want to go back to bed and call it a day.
This foul mood I'm in is making my work ethic equal to that of a fat kid who doesn't want to get off the couch. I just want to lay around and be lazy and eat chips. Don't judge me. Or do, ya know, whatever.
Okay, ya know what? I've been trying not to turn this into a ranting post but I'm not gonna shove my annoyances away. I'm going to bitch for a minute. If you don't want to read bitching, I suggest you scroll down to where I come back to reality. :)
You know what really grinds my gears? (heh, heh) People who talk just for the sake of hearing themselves talk. I am so tired of listening to people just randomly talk about random crap which I do not care about in the least. It just goes on and on and on and on for mind-numbing minutes and I feel like my eyes are going to explode. Also, quit interrupting me when I interject. The next time I get interrupted while I'm talking I'm just going to talk louder.
Another thing - Facebook is NOT the place for religion to be shoved in my face. I understand you love jesus. I get it. I really do. But does each and every one of your status updates have to remind me? If you have to constantly tell someone how awesome something is, chances are it's not really that awesome.
Okay I think I'm done. For now. I reserve the right to add to this post later. Hopefully the aforementioned cookies from Subway will turn my frown upside down. But it's not lunch time yet, and until then I think I need to go have a visit with the office candy jar.
Ciao.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
i'm awake
I want to do stuff.
There are a lot of things I want to do. I'm not really sure why all of a sudden my interest in achieving things has been sparked. I've spent most of my life up until now not understanding why I wasn't a goal-oriented person.
It ranges from things I want to learn how to do to information that sparks my curiosity and a desire to learn more. I read an article today about how the big red spot on Jupiter is shrinking and I was instantly curious. Now I want to learn more about the planets. I want to know things. I want to understand the world better.
I talked with Bryan about going fishing awhile back. He asked if I would even take the fish off the hook. I told him I'd worm the hook, but I wouldn't take the fish off. I was thinking about this conversation yesterday and thought, "Why won't I take the fish off the hook?" It's so silly. Of course I'll take the fish off the hook! Why wouldn't I? What am I afraid of?
It's so easy to let the convictions of others drive the things we will and will not do. We're looking at new cars and I've always been adamant about getting an automatic transmission. I don't know how to drive manual, but why can't I learn? I realized when I rattled off all my reasons, "hard to drive," "what about in the winter?," that my mom and dad were speaking through me. Why can't I drive a manual? It's cheaper and probably even more fun to drive. So, why not?
It feels like I just woke up and there is not one thing I can put my finger on to explain my new lease on life. I'm a happier person.
I want to do things to help the earth. I want to recycle and use cotton bags when I go shopping. I want to be more conscious of the food I eat and how wasteful we sometimes are. I want to re-use. I want to grow plants. I want to save energy.
It would be easy to put it on the things going on with my dad. To say that I've realized that life is short. But I'm not really sure that's it. Maybe somewhere subconscious it is, but I don't really feel like my energy is drawing from that. Maybe I'm just really starting to turn into an adult. I no longer want to be just a consumer. I want to a producer. A producer of good energy, love, knowledge, and the ability to be good at things.
I want to learn how to play the piano and the guitar. I want to grow some plants for cooking - and be a better cook. I want to learn how to speak Spanish and French. I want to write stories. I want to knit stuff. I want to go to movies and listen to music. I want to take a boxing class. I want to make money to travel around and see my friends. I want to understand the stock market.
I've realized it's easier to place my happiness in some world outside of which I live; to think I'd be happy "if." But, life isn't supposed to be easy. Happiness is here, happiness is now. I am the same person in Madison I would be in St. Louis. I am happy for what I have, for the people in my life, for my surroundings, for the experiences I've had.
They may not be much, but they're mine.
There are a lot of things I want to do. I'm not really sure why all of a sudden my interest in achieving things has been sparked. I've spent most of my life up until now not understanding why I wasn't a goal-oriented person.
It ranges from things I want to learn how to do to information that sparks my curiosity and a desire to learn more. I read an article today about how the big red spot on Jupiter is shrinking and I was instantly curious. Now I want to learn more about the planets. I want to know things. I want to understand the world better.
I talked with Bryan about going fishing awhile back. He asked if I would even take the fish off the hook. I told him I'd worm the hook, but I wouldn't take the fish off. I was thinking about this conversation yesterday and thought, "Why won't I take the fish off the hook?" It's so silly. Of course I'll take the fish off the hook! Why wouldn't I? What am I afraid of?
It's so easy to let the convictions of others drive the things we will and will not do. We're looking at new cars and I've always been adamant about getting an automatic transmission. I don't know how to drive manual, but why can't I learn? I realized when I rattled off all my reasons, "hard to drive," "what about in the winter?," that my mom and dad were speaking through me. Why can't I drive a manual? It's cheaper and probably even more fun to drive. So, why not?
It feels like I just woke up and there is not one thing I can put my finger on to explain my new lease on life. I'm a happier person.
I want to do things to help the earth. I want to recycle and use cotton bags when I go shopping. I want to be more conscious of the food I eat and how wasteful we sometimes are. I want to re-use. I want to grow plants. I want to save energy.
It would be easy to put it on the things going on with my dad. To say that I've realized that life is short. But I'm not really sure that's it. Maybe somewhere subconscious it is, but I don't really feel like my energy is drawing from that. Maybe I'm just really starting to turn into an adult. I no longer want to be just a consumer. I want to a producer. A producer of good energy, love, knowledge, and the ability to be good at things.
I want to learn how to play the piano and the guitar. I want to grow some plants for cooking - and be a better cook. I want to learn how to speak Spanish and French. I want to write stories. I want to knit stuff. I want to go to movies and listen to music. I want to take a boxing class. I want to make money to travel around and see my friends. I want to understand the stock market.
I've realized it's easier to place my happiness in some world outside of which I live; to think I'd be happy "if." But, life isn't supposed to be easy. Happiness is here, happiness is now. I am the same person in Madison I would be in St. Louis. I am happy for what I have, for the people in my life, for my surroundings, for the experiences I've had.
They may not be much, but they're mine.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
my bookshelf
I'm still working on The Host by Stephenie Meyer. It's getting really good and I'm excited to put a few more chapters under my belt this evening when I get home from work. Two more hours of the work-day left. In the meantime I've compiled a list of books I want to read. I already own a few of them. I should probably start with those first.
In an effort to waste time, here are a few synopses from my list:
In an effort to waste time, here are a few synopses from my list:
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte - Heathcliff and Cathy believe they’re destined to love each other forever, but when cruelty and snobbery separate them, their untamed emotions literally consume them.
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer - In April 1992, a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. He had given $25,000 in savings to a charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all the cash in his wallet and invented a life for himself. Four months later, his decomposed body was found by a moose hunter.
Paper Towns by John Green - When Margo Roth Spiegelman beckons Quentin Jacobsen in the middle of the night-dressed like a ninja and plotting an ingenious campaign of revenge-he follows her. Margo's always planned extravagantly, and, until now, she's always planned solo. After a lifetime of loving Margo from afar, things are finally looking up for Q . . . until day breaks and she has vanished. Always an enigma, Margo has now become a mystery. But there are clues. And they're for Q.
Into the Woods by Tana French - A 12-year-old girl is found murdered at an archaeological site at the center of a controversial highway construction project. Katy Devlin was a popular girl who had recently been accepted to the Royal Ballet School; her father is an outspoken opponent of the new roadway. But what haunts Detective Rob Ryan about this case is its location: the quiet town of Knocknaree, Ireland -- in the very woods where he used to play as a child.
Marley & Me by John Grogan - John and Jenny were young and in love, with a perfect little house and not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy—and their life would never be the same.
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink - Falling ill on his way home from school, 15-year-old Michael Berg is rescued by Hanna, a woman twice his age. For a time, the two become passionate lovers. Then, one day, Hanna disappears without a word. Years later, as a law student observing a trial in Germany, Michael recognizes his former lover on the stand, accused of a hideous crime. And as he watches Hanna refuse to defend herself against the charges, Michael gradually realizes that she may be guarding a secret more shameful than murder.
Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen - In a garden surrounded by a tall fence, tucked away behind a small, quiet house in an even smaller town, is an apple tree that is rumored to bear a very special sort of fruit. In this luminous debut novel, Sarah Addison Allen tells the story of that enchanted tree, and the extraordinary people who tend it.…
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer - In April 1992, a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. He had given $25,000 in savings to a charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all the cash in his wallet and invented a life for himself. Four months later, his decomposed body was found by a moose hunter.
Paper Towns by John Green - When Margo Roth Spiegelman beckons Quentin Jacobsen in the middle of the night-dressed like a ninja and plotting an ingenious campaign of revenge-he follows her. Margo's always planned extravagantly, and, until now, she's always planned solo. After a lifetime of loving Margo from afar, things are finally looking up for Q . . . until day breaks and she has vanished. Always an enigma, Margo has now become a mystery. But there are clues. And they're for Q.
Into the Woods by Tana French - A 12-year-old girl is found murdered at an archaeological site at the center of a controversial highway construction project. Katy Devlin was a popular girl who had recently been accepted to the Royal Ballet School; her father is an outspoken opponent of the new roadway. But what haunts Detective Rob Ryan about this case is its location: the quiet town of Knocknaree, Ireland -- in the very woods where he used to play as a child.
Marley & Me by John Grogan - John and Jenny were young and in love, with a perfect little house and not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy—and their life would never be the same.
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink - Falling ill on his way home from school, 15-year-old Michael Berg is rescued by Hanna, a woman twice his age. For a time, the two become passionate lovers. Then, one day, Hanna disappears without a word. Years later, as a law student observing a trial in Germany, Michael recognizes his former lover on the stand, accused of a hideous crime. And as he watches Hanna refuse to defend herself against the charges, Michael gradually realizes that she may be guarding a secret more shameful than murder.
Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen - In a garden surrounded by a tall fence, tucked away behind a small, quiet house in an even smaller town, is an apple tree that is rumored to bear a very special sort of fruit. In this luminous debut novel, Sarah Addison Allen tells the story of that enchanted tree, and the extraordinary people who tend it.…
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