that's it, the world is ending

my. mom. joined. facebook.

i don't think anything more about that sentence needs to be explained. i'm just going to say this; facebook was WAY cooler when you needed a college ID to make an account. thank god for the limited profile option, that's all i gotta say. so i called my mom last night to say, "i cannot BELIEVE you joined facebook" (which in retrospect really hurt my cause more than if i'd just stayed silent). well she of course did her horrible cackle laugh where you can't get a word in edge-wise because of how "silly" i was being that i would be upset and blah blah blah. well all the bullshit i'd taken from her over the weekend came to surface and i blew up.

i think one of two things happen when you have children. 1) you either turn into your own parents and start reverting to the way they raised you or 2) you learn from the things you disliked about your parents and try to change them with your own kids.

i hope to be the second type of parent. don't get me wrong - i love my parents. i've mentioned before how i wish my relationship with my mom was better. i don't have much to complain about compared to other people but i've still learned quite a few things i'd like to do differently when i have my own family.

i don't think being a mom gives you a license to treat your children like they "don't understand." i'm sorry but i am so sick and tired of hearing, "you'll understand someday when you have children!" i think that's the biggest bullshit line i've heard in my lifetime. granted, with my neice and nephews i've found myself thinking things like "ohh you'll understand when you're older," but i realize that keeping these thoughts to myself do more good than harm. sure, the elder generation has had experiences that might make them see things differently but that does not mean that in the present moment what your children are feeling is wrong.

also, i get treated differently because i am the youngest. even though i'm 25 years old, i'm married, have a house, a good job, a college degree - i still get treated like i'm the dumbest in the family. "oh baby laura just doesn't get it."

i want to have my own life outside of my kids. i think that's another reason why my parents struggle so much with control over our lives - they don't have their own. at some point you have to let go and hope that you raised a smart human being. as a parent you have to realize that your children grow up to be their own person and you can't think that just because they don't like strawberries in their friggin' jello that they "just don't know what's good."

i hope to keep all these thoughts in my back pocket. i want my kids to know about how i felt when i was younger so when they start feeling the same way they can come to me with their grievances and i can listen and acknowledge that what they're feeling is legitimate and warranted.

ugh, i guess i've ranted enough for one blog post. in the meantime i guess i'll accept this stupid friend request from my mom and bite my tongue for the moment. after all, just because i accept the request doesn't mean i have to teach her how to use it. and that's something i refuse to do.