the root of all evil

there was one piece of advice friends and family gave me before getting married. keep money out of it. it's not that easy though when you get married and you suddenly are merging most aspects of your life. paying bills, buying food, major purchases - all are done together. it's easier to have everything in one joint account that we both have access to. the problem is this - it becomes a major issue when one person has different spending habits than the other.
with the loss of my own bank account i can feel my identity being drained from me. i no longer have the ability to run out and buy something without it being questioned. i don't mean to make i sound like my every move is being watched or i'm being told what i can or can't do. that isn't it. it's the simple fact that every single purchase i make has to go through a medium. bryan updates the bank account information and questions purchases primarily to ensure there aren't any fraudulent charges coming through... it's just something about it that really bothers me. i would like to be able to go out and buy something, or manage my own money without worrying about it having some kind of affect or question regarding its validity.
i know money will be tighter now that we've bought a house, and i don't plan on going out and randomly spending money on things that don't need to be purchased - but there is something about having your own account and your own hand over it that really diminishes you when its no longer there. i miss managing my own money - even if it meant me not having a whole lot of it. at least i had some sense of control that i feel like i'm slowly losing over my life.