let's be trees

well, my sister left for Guatemala yesterday morning. i woke up sunday morning and realized i hadn't talked to her. i was upset at myself for letting it slip my mind and by the time i woke up she was already on a plane. lucky for me tho she called before she boarded her connecting flight. i sure do miss her already! my parents have been uber-annoying about her trip. i understand they worry because they're parents but she's an adult and can make her own choices. my mom in particular kept asking, "what does david think about her going?" to me... like i have an answer to that. then she'd sneak in a "i guess david doesn't mind if she goes," or "poor david will be all alone!" i'm preeeetty sure david is a grown adult who 1) can take care of himself and 2) wouldn't be the type of person to tell her she "can't" go.

so all of this has me asking myself... what kind of relationship is my mom trying to promote? should you not do something you want to do if your significant other doesn't approve? where is the line? while this question doesn't really apply to my sisters situation i know several other people that do abide by what their husband/boyfriend/girlfriend expects of them. i think the line of control gets very blurry when you start thinking like that. who should have control over your life? you or someone else? when does it stop becoming courtesy to think of anothers feelings when making decisions?

all of this makes me wonder if this might be the reason why the divorce right is so high. back in the days when my parents were married i think it was more common for people to settle in and forget dreams they might have held as a single young adult - especially women. i don't necessarily think this means their lives were completely "controlled" but it seems like people in my parents age bracket are more considerate of the feelings of their spouse than the younger generations are. i haven't quite decided if this is a bad thing or a good thing.

i want my children to be full functioning adults before committing to a long-term relationship. maybe that's the problem - people get married before they're two separate full-bloomed trees, both with roots planted firmly into the ground. is that the difference? maybe if two people can function on their own then in turn they'll respect the other persons ability to do so.

i guess what i'm not saying is that people shouldn't still be considerate of anothers feelings. it's important to be respectful of ideals people hold closely. we get this one life - why would stifle things which make us whole because another person doesn't hold them in the same regard? we all want different things and as long as we respect that we might not want the same things as another and not stand in the path another wants to travel just because we chose the other way... we would all be living the good life.