i'll defriend a bitch

I have five types of friends on Facebook: family, close friends, work friends, high school friends, and friends of friends; each one of them with their own personal opinions and agendas. I am very opinionated myself and am typically not afraid (queue the nerd music) to express how I feel via status updates, link posts, etc. There is a fine line between respectfully putting your opinions out there and doing so in a way that is hateful, though. But how do we judge where that line blurs?

I should give you some background. I consider myself pretty liberal. I’ve always voted democrat – mostly for social reasons. I’m pro-choice, for gay marriage, etc. When the 2008 election rolled around, I frequently changed my profile pictures to the Obama change campaign pictures, lent my statuses to get out the vote for him and so on. Okay and sure, there were the occasional McCain/Palin jokes that floated around in there, too. It was all in good fun. The night Obama won, like usual, I was on Facebook and chat talking to friends that live around the country about the awesomeness that was his win.

It was then that really hateful status updates started popping up. The N word was flung around a few times; people were pissed he had actually won. I deleted all of these people. I don’t care who you are, a family member, a close friend, a friend of a friend… I don’t put up with hate. It’s just so ugly.

But here’s the question, when do you delete people and when do you say “well, it’s their opinion,” and let it be what it is? Obviously in the above scenario, deleting them seemed completely kosher and I don’t regret for one second some friends I lost that night.

Most of my friends are smart people. They understand that if two gay people get married it does not imply the next law to be passed will allow their neighbor to marry a horse. I would say 90% of them have good common sense, are respectful and awesome. The other 10% are questionable. But does that mean I shouldn’t be friends with them just because they don’t feel the way I do about certain issues?

I had a friend in high school who stopped being my friend because I didn’t believe in God. In high school that was a big deal. I was trying to garner all the friends I could. I was confused and mad at her. I didn’t go around and shove my opinions in her face. I didn’t ridicule her for thinking differently – but she felt strongly enough about it to stop being my friend. This is where the blurry line stems from. Would I want someone to de-friend me because I had a differing idea about a concept held so closely as a belief in God?

I guess I’m suggesting that friendships on Facebook hold meaning. And I know “it’s just Facebook.” But, trust me. I’ve deleted people who have come back and said, “WHY DID YOU DELETE ME!?” with puppy dog eyes and horrible accusatory tones in full flourish. There are people I thought wouldn’t even notice, who’ve added me back a day later. Facebook is serious business.

I have 179 friends on Facebook. Can I even afford to lose the friends? There are things I feel strongly about but let’s face it; I don’t want to hurt my numbers.