how was your weekend?

You know the people who only ask how your weekend went because they desperately want to tell you about theirs?

Well, I've decided I'm no longer going to ask. There is one person in particular who does this almost every Monday and I've decided that I'm no longer going to participate in the ole bait and switch. When they ask me how my weekend went, I'm going to go on and on and on and divulge every little detail. Then, when I'm done - I'm going to immediately change the subject so there is no room left in the conversation to talk about weekends.

Here it is, in story format:

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Laura waved her key in front of the little electronic locking system at the front doors of NET, listening for the click of the door to let her in. The air smelled musty and warm as she walked through the front doors. Her pants were slipping off her hips, but as not to pull them up in front of the cameras pointed directly at the entrance, she begrudgingly walked a little farther towards her desk before grabbing the sides and giving them a quick tug up.

Placing her purse and freshly cleaned coffee mug on her desk, she reached down to turn on her computer. She hadn't even risen from below her desk when a familiar voice, like nails on a chalkboard said "Hi Laura. How was your weekend?"

Laura rolled her eyes before turning her head to face her questioner. This scenario played out every Monday. Laura would say, "Good. How was your---" and then be cut off by a slur of details, event plannings, minute tragedies and happy endings. Unfortunately for her fellow employee, Laura had had enough.

"Well let's see," Laura exclaimed, "On Friday, Bryan and I went to see Harry Potter. It was so good but there were these kids sitting in front of us that just would not shut up. Normally, in a movie like that we don't care because they're Harry Potter fans who are just overly exciting, astheyshouldbe, who are having a good time but still being respectful."

She took a quick breath and continued. "Saturday we just hung out at home, relaxed, you know... it was just nice to spend a day at home. I pulled a few weeds. Didsomelaundry. Readabook. Didthedishesandwatchedsometelevision." She went on and on for a few minutes, trying desperately to fill each second with every agonizingly boring detail.

Then, when the details of Sunday had been disclosed, Laura picked up the phone receiver on her desk and said "Oh, shoot. I have to make a call!" turned her back, and quickly dialed the number to get the mornings time and weather forecast.

Laura could hear the person still standing behind her, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, waiting for her to get off the phone. A few seconds more of waiting, and she finally heard her sigh and turn to walk away.

Laura sighed with relief and hung up the phone. Sitting back down at her desk, she gave herself a congratulatory metaphorical pat on the back and logged into her computer.
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So now, I ask, without any sense of sarcasm... how was your weekend?