panic! ...at the disco?

I am not a hypochondriac. The constant swine flu coverage, emails from HR with "helpful hints" about hand-washing, and recent Wisconsin school-closings gets two "Gahs," and a "Pfffft," from me. Okay, you get my point. But here's what I'm getting at - while I do not typically worry when flu season rolls around, I still do my part to stave off little microbes entering my orifices.

While at Chipotle yesterday 3 of my pet peeves regarding the containment of microbes were met.

Firstly, there were two children running around in their pajamas - making laps around the halfwall dividing the checkout line from the dining area. Please, ma'am. Keep your children near you or on leashes if they can't handle standing still. I'm not above leashes. I'll do it.

Secondly, said woman was blatantly poking her head OVER the sneeze guard protecting the food from any gross spittles flying from her overly lipsticked mouth. She then proceeded to reach over the sneeze guard to point at what salsa she wanted. Last time I checked the fine gentlemen working at Chipotle all have working ears and are able to hear when you say "Corn Salsa." They do not need to you to point. Stay behind the sneeze guard.

And thirdly, the stupid bald man sitting next to us kept coughing. And not just coughing, either, coughing without covering his mouth. This is a food establishment sir, cover your mouth when you cough. I do not need your swine flu dancing its way over to my burrito.

The combination of these three things made me put down the last 1/4 of my steak burrito (1/4!) and tell B I had lost my appetite and was ready to leave. This never happens. I always finish my burrito. Always. You can hardly get a word out of me while I'm devouring the deliciousness that is Chipotle.

Again, I am not a hypochondriac. Far from it. I am married to one, however. With this whole swine flu business going around it was only a matter of time before B mentioned an irritating cough and a "kind of upset stomach." Just a little background; B's tummy has a very low tolerance for well, anything. He gets an upset stomach a few times a week. We pledge our loyalty to TUMS. Do I think he has anything other than a little lactose intolerance? Absolutely not.

My point is this - while I might not believe that this whole swine flu business has enough merit to cause the panic it seems to be causing - the more people worry about it and not cover their mouth when they cough, the more I can feel my throat start to hurt. I am a firm believer I can stave off illness with a few capsules of Airborne and a good attitude. So if I'm starting to worry about dancing swine flu particles, there's a problem.

That being said, the next person who coughs near my burrito w/o doing into into the bend in their elbow is going to get a few strong words from me and maybe even a spritz of Lysol in their general direction.

Do your part people. Cover your mouth. Wash your hands. Keep your children away from me. Obey the laws of the sneeze guard.